Monday, 20 January 2014

Momma Monday: Top 20 things NOT to say to the Parents of Toddlers

I came across multiple versions of this on and it just made me laugh because 100% of it's so true. How many of us are asked ridiculous questions about our growing toddlers, or people have given there opinion about where our children should be on the milestone track when according to others, there "falling behind". This is one of my biggest pet peeves indefinitely. I didn't used to mind, until we were in a grocery store one day and my daughter was about 15 months old, and a lady was stating that A child that age should already be potty trained, and talking in mid-full sentences. I'm like, what planet did you come from, one with super kids or what? I will not stand for others comparing my child to somebody else as they all grow up differently, and at there own pace, and we can't force that.

What NOT to say to Parents with Toddlers

Strangers Are Weird
"Oh is she shy?"
No she doesn't know you and it takes her a few minutes to be comfortable in a new environment.

On Things That Are None of Your Business
"Isn't she potty trained yet?"
Exactly how old were you when you stopped pooping in a diaper?

On Little Boys With Long Hair
"When are you going to cut that hair?"
My son has his own (pretty darned cute) ideas about hair style and length, thank you very much.

No Naps = Zombie Toddler. LEARN THIS.
"Oh, he can miss his nap - it won't hurt!"
Oh sure, you won't mind babysitting them say from 5:00 PM onwards; getting them dinner and tucked into bed would you? However, Zombie Toddler will appear to eat your brains during these hours wherein their exhausted little brains and bodies cry foul.
** this is what happens to my kids. They become Crankzilla, queens of the underworld. 

"I KNOW, me too."
The response I got when stating I was tired to a twenty-something Barista with no kids. I just laughed and laughed.
Babies & Toddlers Cry. KNOW THIS.
"Why won't she stop crying? What's wrong with her?"  Must be your face. Also? BABIES/TODDLERS CRY.

 ** this is my favorite. I'd love to see a baby&toddler not cry so much. Even if it were for a day, it'd be really nice :)

So Funny! So Smart!
"Oops, I guess the littlest one was a surprise, eh?"
Actually I had 7 miscarriages in 4 years. Would you like to know anything else about my child bearing history?
** this one is on ball. My mother tried for 12 years to conceive a child and adopted my brother & sister, had more miscarriages in between, and didn't know she was pregnant with me till she was 5 months along. So i was known as the surprise or even worse, the accident.. but they don't know how hard and long it took her to actually bear her own child.

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire
"You know, MY kids never acted like that…"
LIES. All LIES. Your memory sucks.

And It’s Your Business How?
"You're still nursing? But she's so old now!"
Natural weaning is between the ages of 2 and 7. Yes 7. I nursed my first baby until age 5 and I plan to do the same with my second. Not sure why it bothers you?

Ask a Silly Question…
"Does he/she always behave like this?"
Only when you're around.
Organically Grown
"Oh twins!?! Are they natural?"
Why yes they are 100% human, or are you asking if I used fertility treatments?

What’s Wrong With YOU?
"What's wrong with him?"

Such a Zealot
"You must have a lot of time on your hands to be making such healthy meals from scratch all the time!"
I've got to give my kids some sort of material for therapy when they're grown, don't I?

** I have two kids under 3, and even I can still find time to make a healthy meal, weather it be quick and simple, a freezer meal I made days ago, or a simple fruit, veggie, cheese, and kabasa platter. Your children can't live off of hotdogs, grilled cheese, and kraft dinner forever.

For The Single Parents
"You don't need to date, you need to focus on your kids until they're out of the house."
You need to focus on your words before they come out of your mouth.

Just NO
"I used to spank my kids and they turned out just fine!"
Says YOU.

Don’t Talk To Me About Magic!
"Ok -- I know there's a ton of them... ok - here's one; I am always kind of amazed when my kids are in meltdown mode, throwing full on tantrums, I am completely dishevelled and / or crying, and we are in public - usually eating at a cafe or something and some older woman (who has forgotten everything or never had kids) says, 'remember this time forever. It's magical. You are so lucky.' GAAAAHHHHH! In fact, ANYBODY who says this to parents of young children should stop doing so. First of all, we do NOT need MORE guilt for thinking of our children as tiny dictators at times, and second - we KNOW it goes fast, we KNOW it's a magical time, but it feels and looks like the army when you're in it. A look of sympathy and maybe helping put my kids' boot back on would be more helpful." 
On Co-Sleeping
"It irritates me when people tell me not to let my son sleep in my bed. It's our special time to cuddle, he feels safe and secure, it builds our relationship. That is what is important to me!"

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